This morning around 11:15am I got a text from my dad saying my mom was in the emergency room. She had woke up feeling like she was dying. She refused to eat and she refused to take her medication. Dad informed her that if she wasn't going to take her medication then he was going to take her to the hospital. She said "I don't think I can even make it in the car to get to the hospital". She was so weak she couldn't even stand or get herself dressed. Dad called a neighbor to come over and help him get her dressed and into the car. He took her to the emergency room at the University of Utah Hospital. After an evaluation they found her oxygen level at 70 and it should stay above 90. It was no wonder she was completely exhausted, she was not getting enough oxygen. They asked if she has been on oxygen and when my dad told them no they were shocked. They admitted her into the hospital. They did a chest x ray which showed severe inflammation in her lungs. Doctors from the ICU examined her and talked with other doctors to determine if she should be in the ICU. At this point I decided I should start checking for flights to Salt Lake City so I could be with my mom. I found a flight that left St. George at 3:15 which only gave me about an hour to catch the flight. John called Delta to book the flight while I started packing. I hadn't had time or felt like eating all day. John told me I should eat before I leave. I kept watching the clock but assumed it was not that big of a deal to be too early because it's a small town and a small airport. On my way to the airport at 2:45 I got the news that she was headed to the ICU. We got to the airport at 2:55. St. George is a very small airport with only one gate. I ran inside not knowing where to go to check in. Straight ahead was the security check point. I saw a TSA man standing there and asked him where I was supposed to go. He said "are you on the SLC flight?" I said "yes". He said, " I don't think you are going to make it. I think they already closed the door". Already being on the verge of tears since finding out my mom was in the hospital I literally broke down crying begging and pleading to let me on the plane. I said, My mom is in the ICU. I need to get to her. Please! I have to get on that plane! Please! there has to be someone out there you can talk to". He said he did not have the authority to go out there and told me I was supposed to be here 25 minutes before the flight. I told him I just bought the ticket over the phone an hour ago packed my bags and got here as soon as I could. I said, "the plane is still here and it's not time for it to leave yet so why can't I get on?" He said it was against federal regulation to open the door once it has been closed. He also said there was no one at the check in counter because they were helping to load the plane. He finally found someone from check in to talk to me. Again, I poured my heart out cried and begged to get on the plane. She made it clear that it was too late. Security was gone, the door was shut and connecting flights would be delayed if they let me on. She said they leave the check in counter 25 minutes before take off to load the plane and help on board because it is such a small airport. As I stood there crying John asked what I could do about getting another flight. We were told that was the last flight for the day, there were no flights out of Cedar City left for the day and all flights tomorrow are overbooked in Cedar City and Saint George because of the Iron Man Competition. I continued to have an emotional breakdown the whole way home. John demanded that he drive me to Salt Lake City to drop me off. He didn't want me driving because I was so upset. He loaded the kids in the car. We dropped Whitney off at a friends house for a birthday party and told her daddy would be back late but he would keep in touch with her and we could find a place for her to go. John planned on taking Caysen with us. I begged him not to take me to Salt Lake because I didn't want Caysen to go stir crazy in the car for 8 hours round trip and I didn't want him driving there and back because he had hardly slept for two days. I begged him to stay home with the kids and let me drive myself. John refused and he was already behind the wheel driving in route so I knew I wasn't getting out of it. I told him to at least pull over so we could find a place for Caysen to go. I called my friend Renae whom has been aware of my moms health problems. She was happy to take Caysen and offered him to spend the night. Now the kids were taken care of and I could focus on getting to my mom. I cried a little more and then began doing some more research about this horrible disease. I kept in touch with dad and my sister Courtney the whole way with any updates of moms condition. Before I knew it, I was there. Courtney and Jeremy had left just before I got there around 8:00pm. I met my dad by the main entrance. With my suitcase and pillow in tow I gave John a kiss goodbye. Just like that he was gone. He headed back to St. George to be with the kids.
Dad and I headed to the ICU. When mom saw me she said, "you didn't need to come". I told her I would never forgive myself if something happened to her and I wasn't there. I told her John is taking care of the kids and this is where I need to be.
The assistant Rheumatologist examined her and started her on an IV with steroids. They are discussing which immunosuppressent drug would be the best for her. Hopefully they can get her started on that tomorrow. I spent the next few hours sitting by her side. She was not up for conversation because it is too hard for her to talk and she didn't feel like conversing. I sat and listened to her whimpers and moans. She looked miserable. My mother will always be beautiful in my eyes but she just looked like she felt miserable. She was also uncomfortable and complaining about the hospital pillow. I lifted her head and put my pillow under her head. She said "oh". That was all she needed to get more comfortable and all I needed to know I was not getting my pillow back.
Dad and I left around 10:30. We went to Applebee's to get some dinner. By this time I was completely exhausted! My eyes burned from crying, I was tired and I was hungry. As we walked in the restaurant the host said "how are you doing this evening"? Dad and I looked at each other and I looked back at the host and said, "I could tell you we're fine but that would be a lie".
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